Leeds United 2-1 Norwich City: Escape velocity - The Square Ball 14/3/22

GELHARDT VS GRAVITY

Written by: Moxcowhite • Daniel Chapman

I’ll never think it had to be this way this season, or these last two weeks. But maybe this game had to be this way. Jesse Marsch says he came to work in Europe to experience the real history and culture of football, but he still had never, because he only worked for Red Bull who destroy it when they see it. At Elland Road, Sunday 13th March 2022 was the first day of the rest of Jesse Marsch’s life. “I think on my deathbed I will remember this,” he said.

Budge up, Leeds fans, make some room on the mattress. Stoppage time, when Norwich City shattered Leeds’ hopes with an equaliser, then Joe Gelhardt rebuilt a dream, was a once in Jesse’s lifetime experience. But at Leeds we don’t have to go back very far. Mark Viduka against Arsenal in 2003? Jonny Howson against Carlisle, Jermaine Beckford against Bristol Rovers in League One? The Christmas one-two from Kemar Roofe against Aston Villa and Blackburn? Pablo Hernandez at Swansea? We could even just go back three weeks, to two goals in 24 seconds against Manchester United. If only that game had ended in happier circumstances, but there’s a reason football fans have stayed hooked on singing Que Sera, Sera since the 1950s. Whatever will be, will be. And sometimes it will be glorious, agonising, joyful rage after winning an enraging, joyful, agony-filled game. People will tell you that avoiding relegation isn’t glory. Others that it hasn’t been avoided yet. But at the end of this game I couldn’t tell you the difference between one joy or another.

It was appropriate to the occasion that the game didn’t end with Gelhardt’s goal, but with Norwich’s goalie dinking the ball over United’s panicking defence and Teemu Pukki, scorer of 75 goals for Norwich, smashing it into Illan Meslier’s face. Our ‘keeper must have been barely conscious of saving it, he was barely conscious afterwards too, but bad goalkeepers don’t get that luck, and as Leeds United in general never get that luck, we should put it down as a great, chaotic save, a matchwinner.

Leeds United’s luck was more typically expressed in the rest of the game. Raphinha hitting a volley off the crossbar. Raphinha hitting a free-kick off the crossbar. Dan James getting hip-barged off the ball but VAR not giving that Leeds’ way. There were other chances where skill jostled luck for its say. Pascal Struijk, his header saved, smashing the rebound over an open goal. Pat Bamford, on his first start after injury, rolling a one-on-one chance two yards wide. Raphinha feeding Stuart Dallas with a sublime backheel to his overlap, then getting the ball back and shanking it off his standing leg instead of scoring a simple chance. We had good fortune, too, Luke Ayling being trod on in a lunge, rather than tripping, so VAR ruled out a penalty against him. And when Jonathan Rowe had a big chance for Norwich, he shot against the bar. He’s a month short of nineteen, an attacker who made his debut just after Christmas, and he’s been the Canaries’ one bright youthful hope since. He’s their Joffy, if you like. But our Joffy scored.

Beyond listing the chances and the way fortune swang, the game itself feels secondary. Marsch promised a lot more work in the video room with the players this coming week, but watching this game? He can press play at the first kick-off, but nobody will be able to concentrate knowing the thrill coming at the end. Can’t we just fast-forward, boss? Maybe pausing for the fights. There were running battles all over, with Jackie Harrison against Max Aarons the box office affair, all starting from when referee Stuart Attwell let two bad Leeds tackles go uncarded in the first few minutes. I welcomed that because it left United’s press, so weak against Aston Villa, free to put the nearest Canary under pressure, and if that didn’t work, on the floor; I didn’t welcome how it empowered Tim Krul to charge around the pitch refereeing things himself, or the entire Norwich team to try watching VAR replays over Attwell’s shoulder. But all this also helped keep the football in its place, somewhere down beneath the carnage where it belonged.

For assessments of the actual football, all we have to say about Norwich is they’re awful. For Leeds, I’ll refer to you the Aston Villa game and say it was sort of like that but sped up and better, and maybe we’ll take a closer look at the footie in the Wolves game or one after that. Strategy was also in its place, a foundation for desire, and most of United’s chances came from sheer effort. The goals came from route one. Long balls up to the striker, second balls won, then straight for the net. When Norwich beat Bamford to Diego Llorente’s long ball, Rodrigo beat Dan James to the knock down to open the scoring in the first half, his shot deflecting inside the far post. His celebration was wild and happy, like his performance, so different from the burdened shadow of midweek. Leeds could have scampered into a commanding lead and their failure to take chances, rather than any particular tactical collapse, meant Norwich were still involved, too involved, in the second half. I don’t want to talk about their goal, scored upon the lifting of the stoppage time board. It was just a stupid concession, right when I thought Leeds had got away without one, as an opponent fighting for their own survival took their little canary beaks to pecking and pulling Leeds’ nerves. To withstand so much chaos, often self-inflicted in the penalty area, then concede how they did, felt so typical, and — anyway, I said I didn’t want to talk about it.

Joffy Gelhardt took the field after that more in hope than expectation. He embodies hope not just because he’s young, but because he carries the aura of his teen career, which has astonished coaches at Wigan and Leeds for its serene trajectory, always succeeding, never any setbacks. But beset by the equalising angst, some people didn’t even see this substitution happen, so what hope did they have? Nobody, not even Jesse Marsch, or Joffy’s biggest fan, mum Lynne, can honestly look back to the moment Gelhardt came on and say they thought, ‘yeah it’s all fine he’s scoring’. The only person who can tell me they knew he’d score, and make me believe them, is Joseph himself. When Meslier launched the ball downfield, Gelhardt launched himself at Ben Gibson. He was waiting for an easy defensive header; Gelhardt beat him with a devastating attacking one. Raphinha hasn’t been channeling his frustrations into his play but now, at full aggressive pelt, he was a teetering Scalextric on the only route around Krul, which left him with the only cross he could make, to the six-yard box where Gelhardt was waiting, free from all stresses, the golden kid not missing despite Brandon Williams’ one, last, forlorn, too-late shove.

Newcastle United seemed to find the boosters for their escape velocity in a win at Elland Road, and as the old stadium combusted, this was Leeds taking their stand against gravity. That’s a fight fans were losing in the pandemonium as their bodies plunged down over plastic seats to concrete terraces, but the team said something about their battle credentials with this win. Still, Leeds, to the last, were so close to throwing it all away again. I can’t tell you much about what happened in the last three or four minutes of stoppage time, it seemed like the pitch was still full of celebrations and fighting, and after Meslier ran to the opposite corner to celebrate, now Krul was up at Meslier’s end, hovering in midfield, creating a chance. How long was the ball in play? I remember Norwich crossing a free-kick. Krul, Pukki, shot, Meslier, save? We’ll call it that. If Pukki had scored, I don’t know what we would have called that. Open the thesaurus and start at ‘hell’. At full-time the Leeds physios ran straight to Meslier to check his headache. At the other end, Raphinha was on the floor, apparently distraught about — winning? It was a very valid reaction.