Analysing Richard Keys’ strange obsession with Sam Allardyce - Planet Football 3/5/23
Mitchell Wilks
With Leeds staring relegation from the Premier League
directly in the face, they’ve hit the Big Sam Button. No, really. In 2023.
In the words of Eric Bischoff’s theme music, he’s back and
better than ever. Does he still have the knack for making things better,
though? We’ll see in approximately four games’ time if Leeds are still a
top-flight club.
One person who doesn’t need to see how those four games play
out to cast judgement on Sam Allardyce, though, is Richard Keys.
You remember him, right? Author of the world-famous Richard
Keys blog, extremely highly regarded sports broadcaster and pundit for beIN Sports.
Not ringing any bells? Fine. The one that left Sky Sports
and has become increasingly gammon ever since, spouting his strange views on
all things football despite nobody really asking him to anymore.
But while Keys has picked up a reputation for his often
brash and negative analysis of most things we love in the beautiful game, one
person that seems to tip him the other way is Allardyce. Keysey just loves him.
And it’s really weird.
Not in the happy-go-lucky sense that most football fans do,
appreciative of his cult hero status within the Premier League as a slightly
outdated manager who used to be able to get the job done when the going got
tough at the bottom end. No, much weirder.
Keys’ feelings towards Big Sam appear to go a little further
than just appreciation for his slightly humorous cult hero status.
And with the England manager who boasts the best win rate of
all-time – that is an undisputed fact – back in the Barclays at Elland Road,
now is as good a time as ever to take a deep dive into Keys’ love affair with
Big Sam.
Welcoming him back to the Premier League
As mentioned, Keys was very keen to wish Allardyce well amid
his impending return to the touchline, in the form of a tweet.
Big Sam is back! There’s a theme here. The return of the dinosaurs. 🦕. Hodgson Warnock Allardyce. You can’t buy experience. Welcome back big man. What an incentive for him - keep Leeds up and relegate Everton.
— Richard Keys (@richardajkeys) May 2, 2023
Here’s a thought, Rich. If you were on close enough terms
with Allardyce that you could refer to him as ‘big man’ surely you’d be texting
him instead of showing off to your Twitter following?
Nice use of emojis, too. Very subtle. Adds to his
excellently witty tenor.
What stands out here is not just his love for Allardyce,
though, but his strange affinity for the ‘dinosaurs’, referring to the game’s
older managers who have naturally phased out as football has progressed.
For some strange reason, Keys – who was never a manager in
the first place – doesn’t seem to want to accept that. Odd.
Pep Guardiola’s new defensive coach
It appears Keys’ affinity for Allardyce’s strong, defensive
style goes back in time. So much so, that he had some advice for Pep Guardiola.
You’ll not see a better clip all day. You’ve been warned.
"He could bring Sam Allardyce in on a temporary basis"@richardajkeys offers Pep Guardiola some advice on how he could fix @ManCity's leaky defence.#beINPL #PL #LEEMCI 📺 HD11 pic.twitter.com/YcapARFliE
— beIN SPORTS (@beINSPORTS_EN) October 3, 2020
No, you’re not in a fever dream. Andy Gray and Richard Keys,
in the flesh, shooting the ship on how Guardiola could’ve improved City’s
defence in 2020, after they drew 1-1 with Leeds.
Sounds like a recipe for disaster, because it is. Keys
suggests that Guardiola should bring in Big Sam for some pointers on how to set
up his team out of possession.
You know, quite possibly the greatest manager of all time,
who has won everywhere he’s gone and influenced the modern game to no end in
re-introducing concepts of total football and possession-based philosophies
from yesteryear.
There is a part of Guardiola that unironically will have
learned from the old-school type British manager upon arriving in England, as
the very best in the game will learn from others.
But you know full well that Keys is being serious when he
thinks Guardiola ought to genuinely sit down and take notes from Big Sam, pint
in one hand, pie in the other.
Perhaps this was just him projecting his own fantasies.
Big Sam’s agent
Earlier that year, Keys was trying to land Allardyce a job
on the south coast with Bournemouth, as The Cherries found themselves in hot
water.
"My advice? Call Big Sam!"@richardajkeys tips Allardyce for a Premier League return! #beINPL pic.twitter.com/Iencvzz37Q
— beIN SPORTS (@beINSPORTS_EN) January 18, 2020
Best friend, super-fan, agent. Strange.
Ahead of the curve
Alright, we’ve had our fun. It’s time to hold our hands up
and admit it – Keysey is a visionary.
Following the dismissal of Marcelo Bielsa, he was straight
onto beIN SPORTS to tell the world of his grand idea to keep Leeds safe. You
guessed it; starts with Sam and ends with Allardyce.
🗣️ "I would be on the phone to Sam Allardyce as we speak and say we only have one objective... Just get us safe!"@richardajkeys & Andy Gray react to Marcelo Bielsa's sacking and Jesse Marsch links.#beINPL #LUFC
— beIN SPORTS (@beINSPORTS_EN) February 27, 2022
Watch Now 👉 https://t.co/hkoevnV6B4 pic.twitter.com/tKKCVhSiIf
We can only imagine the internal angst and outrage it caused
him after American coach Jesse Marsch was appointed instead.
Fair play to him though – ahead of the curve after all. Or
just a bit obsessed.
Agent Keys – again
After Burnley parted ways with Sean Dyche in 2022, Keysey of
course had to weigh in with his opinion on who might be able to save them from
Premier League relegation. No prizes for guessing whose name popped up.
He tweeted: “There’s probably too few games left for Sam to
take it – but what a double whammy incentive he’d have – keep Burnley up and
send Everton down. It would make for a fascinating finish.”
Didn’t expect that. The Clarets went down, too, unable to
avoid the drop. But imagine they had appointed Allardyce and stayed up, and
Vincent Kompany never headed to Turf Moor. That butterfly effect is scary
Keys invites Allardyce to his humble abode
In a time before COVID, Keys and Allardyce actually shared
the studio.
It’s 2018 and Big Sam is fresh off the Everton dismissal.
Keys put on his serious journalist hat and gets to work.
"Who was it that had it in for you?"@richardajkeys asks Sam Allardyce to name names at @Everton. #beINPL #EFC pic.twitter.com/tmYcKPov6i
— beIN SPORTS (@beINSPORTS_EN) August 18, 2018
Lying about Big Sam’s CV
Following a roundtable discussion on what it takes to be a
relegation expert on beIN SPORTS, Keys weighed in on Twitter to provide further
backing for his special friend – presumably not aware of Allardyce’s relegation
with Notts County in the late 90s.
17 years a coach. Never relegated. The big fella knows what he’s talking about. https://t.co/dCvoFfO23E
— Richard Keys (@richardajkeys) August 21, 2018
Euro 2020 gripes
Even when discussing Gareth Southgate’s potential EURO 2020
misery on his blog back in the summer of 2021, Keys somehow managed to bring it
back around to Allardyce.
Arguing the point that Southgate would have failed as
England manager if he didn’t lift the trophy, Keys wrote: “Southgate and
England have got it all on against Germany and to be honest, I haven’t seen
anything at this tournament to make me believe that they can win the game.
“Two scratchy 1-0 wins v Croatia and the Czechs – and the
goalless draw against Scotland – haven’t filled me with optimism.”
England won 2-0.
He later said: “It’s just that I like to see my football
played like Italy under Mancini – and Liverpool in the PL. England’s lack of
creativity is a recurring theme. It’s a huge reason as to why Harry Kane has
struggled at these Euro’s and why Phil Foden looks nothing like the player that
wears a Manchester City jersey.
“And this from the new ‘golden generation’ – who we were
promised would sweep teams away – playing on the front foot. There’s been no
sign of that.”
It appears he’s now a fan of total football and everything
that comes with it. Does that mean he’d finally gotten over his love for
Allardyce? Of course not.
“So the reliance on set-pieces is obvious. Heaven forbid.
Imagine Sam Allardyce spending as much time on the subject as Southgate has
recently,” he later wrote, adding: “Mount starts if Covid protocols allow and
so does Foden – which means Grealish doesn’t.
“Again – could you imagine the outcry if Allardyce were in
charge and he named a team without the country’s most creative talent in it?
Perceptions you see. Perceptions.”
Confused here, Keysey? Do you want Allardyce to move away
from the formulas that have made him so ‘successful’ in your eyes, or should he
slap an aptly-named ‘Big Sam-ball’ patent on it and stop other managers from
using it? After all, if he is such a visionary, others should surely follow.
Who knows. England would go on to lose in the final, though,
which we are absolutely, definitely, positively sure would not have been the
case if Allardyce was never sacked and instead remained in charge – because
they’d have likely never gotten that far in the first place.
Decade-long love affair
A visionary in the eyes of some (very few), borderline
obsessive in the eyes of others, you’ve got to respect Keys’ undying admiration
of Allardyce.
Here he is back in 2011, listing him among quite an astounding
list of – in his words – ‘All English’ list of potential Three Lions managers.
One can only assume that Southgate declined to come and
shoot the ship on beIN SPORTS once upon a time, hence why Keysey is no longer
so keen on the man.
Je m’appelle Big Sam
Amid some healthy tactical debate following a France game at
EURO 2020, the panel are discussing France’s tactics of opting for a more
vertical, long-ball approach and trying to analyse how effective it was.
Right in the middle of that debate, Keys interjects with his
thoughts: “If Big Sam’s teams do that [play long] then he’s a dinosaur!”
He becomes rather upset when the others try to dispute that
Didier Deschamps’ outfit are not directly inspired by Big Sam-ball. If that’s
not love, we don’t know what is.