Brighton 3-0 Leeds United: Slow in the head — Square Ball 4/11/25

Deals with the devil

Written by: Rob Conlon

Joe Rodon scrapped to win the ball on the edge of his penalty area, played a short pass to Brenden Aaronson, and carried on running forward. Aaronson took a touch and was immediately tackled, Rodon throwing his arms in the air in exasperation, ten yards ahead of the Leeds attacker. At least Sean Longstaff was alert to mop up any trouble, getting his foot in and nudging the ball this time towards Jayden Bogle. Under pressure, Bogle knocked it out for a throw-in with a slack first touch, sending Rodon chasing backwards as Brighton took it quickly and Leeds’ players were caught standing around trying to work out what was happening. United were trailing 1-0 at Brighton. There were still 77 minutes of the game to be played. And I knew we were fucked.

Daniel Farke has a phrase he likes to use on days like this. “Slow in the head.” Leeds often got away with dozy performances like this in the Championship, their superior class eventually forcing a breakthrough. Sometimes we had to settle for a disappointing draw and move on. Very occasionally, we’d get beat and with the stakes at risk the world felt like it was collapsing inwards. There is no such luxury in the Premier League. When you’re slow in the head, you get what you deserve. Farke might as well have ended his press conference after only two sentences. “Look, we don’t have to analyse the game. I think today they were the better side and deserved to win.”

That happens at all levels of football, never mind when you’re having to punch above your weight every week to try competing in the disparity of England’s top flight. Quite why it happens to Leeds at Brighton so often regardless of the division is becoming an annoying mystery. From the opening whistle, Leeds seemed determined to extend their record of failing to score at the Credit Card Stadium in seven consecutive visits. Four years ago, with Marcelo Bielsa in the United dugout, Brighton were booed off for only drawing 0-0 with a creaking Leeds team as Junior Firpo had what is known in the industry as a ‘Laurens De Bock’, even though they were sitting 8th in the league at the time, higher than they’d ever finished in their history. Given our last goalscorers there were El Hadji Diouf and Michael Brown in a 2-2 draw thirteen years ago, perhaps we’re paying the price for Neil Warnock’s dealings with the devil.

Unfortunately, on Saturday Leeds were as insipid as they have ever been at Brighton in our latest instalment of humblings on the south coast. Meek from the start, players were too busy trying to sort out their own performances for anything to work collectively. The defence was uncomfortable in the face of Brighton’s press. The midfield was losing the ball in their own half. The attack consisted of Dominic Calvert-Lewin standing all alone, his teammates specks on the horizon, apart from the occasional time Noah Okafor beat full-back Mats Wieffer without considering what he was then going to do.

While Brighton were hardly peppering Lucas Perri’s new fringe, their opening goal felt like it was coming. Gabriel Gudmundsson got drawn out of defence failing to tackle Yakubah Minteh, then was punished by Minteh passing cleverly into the open space behind Gudmundsson, allowing Wieffer to give Danny Welbeck a tap-in. It was a similar story for their second after the break, as Minteh tricked past Gudmundsson in the same way Okafor had the beating Wieffer, only to find a telling pass to one of the three Brighton players flooding the six-yard box, Rutter’s dummy leaving Diego Gomez with a simple finish.

I can’t have been the only person almost welcoming the relief of Brighton settling the game. The entire match was full of strange inertia, periods in which both teams stood still and watched each other as if having been placed on a chess board, waiting for each other’s next move to reveal a potential avenue to exploit. Like at Burnley, Leeds’ most threatening moments arrived when Brighton were almost lulled into carelessness and gave us the ball near their own goal. But again, much like at Burnley, Leeds were mired in a funk that suggested they were only going to waste any opportunities they were gifted. Bogle failed to pick out Calvert-Lewin when flashing a ball across the six-yard box, booting it too far ahead of the striker. Lukas Nmecha came off the bench and was played through by a nice pass from fellow sub Dan James only for his touch to take him too wide, hitting the goalkeeper’s feet from a tighter angle than necessary. Leeds’ struggles in attack were only made worse by the fact they gave Brighton more space to immediately counter and worry Perri.

Instead, the moments that stick out were evidence of plain and simple stupidity. The quick throw-in as Rodon was scrambling around. Sean Longstaff shanking corner after corner into the near post, culminating in him being caught offside as Gudmundsson gave him the ball back to have another go at beating the first man. Georginio Rutter looking sheepish after Rodon and Bogle’s failure to deal with a bouncing ball by the touchline allowed him to create Brighton’s third tap-in of the afternoon for Gomez. Leeds’ whole performance resembled a clown car with its doors falling off.

The final whistle mercifully brought an end to Leeds’ 10th Premier League game of the season, marking the arbitrary point that allows everyone to look at the table more seriously. The good news is that Leeds are currently 16th, a place above their aim of 17th, with a five-point buffer to 18th-placed Notts Forest. The bad news is that next weekend’s trip to the City Ground feels big, with far more daunting fixtures against Aston Villa, Man City, Chelsea and Liverpool to follow.

If Saturday’s result sent you soul searching, then look no further than Brighton as an example that Leeds are trying to replicate. While their current squad and recent European adventures suggests a Football Manager save that’s gone really well, their top-flight finishes after winning promotion started with a sequence of 15th, 17th, 15th, 16th. They won exactly nine games each of those four seasons. Across the same period, they lost 66 league games, including to plenty of other crap teams.

Like I say, these things happen, and even if Leeds’ season is to end in the success of 17th, we’re going to have to take a lot more medicine until then. The slog of the last two years in the Championship taught me that as a football fan you have to emotionally pace yourself across a campaign. I’ll spare myself the angst for now, knowing we don’t have to go to Brighton again for hopefully another year. Just don’t hold me to that after next weekend.